Friday, September 17, 2004
Do I worry too much about what others think?
this week, Sign Language says:Your dirty secret's out, probably to the person you're least comfortable with knowing it: It's embarrassing how subject you are, still, to the opinions of others. What they think shouldn't matter, you know, yet somehow it just does. Don't be too hard on yourself; to some extent, it's how you're wired. Because you're partially fueled by the faith of others, you can shine in ways that aren't available to other signs, but you're also subject to bouts with inner darkness when that belief fuel runs out. Sadly, as you've probably already discovered, this week is one of those times. Luckily, though, you're quite likely (with the help of whoever outed you) to discover a new source of inner self-confidence that's totally independent of outside influence.
Interesting, since this week I've been pondering the comments of some acquaintances who suggest I may be an overly sensitive, snooty, P.C. fanatic because I correct people when they call me --or other Korean, Japanese, or Vietnamese people-- "Chinese." I suggest using the term "
Asian," simply because "Chinese" is not the accurate way to describe someone who's
not Chinese. I also don't like suggestions that I
eat dog--another inaccuracy. Am I irrational for getting frustrated when people refer to me as something I'm not? Is it snooty to desire a bit of thoughtfulness and courtesy? I worried about this all week.
My horoscope was right.
I also worried that maybe I'm an arrogant snob because I like to talk about things like politics, current events, history, culture and literature--because I've heard some assertions this week that people who talk about this kind of stuff and use "big words" are just arrogant jerks trying to show off how much they know. (And the less
someone else knows about the topic at hand, the more arrogant they are considered.)
I actually worried that maybe
I had a problem--then it hit me-- I realized that the people who make these assertions
have no idea what it feels like to be called a "stupid chink" and have crab apples hurled at them (it
smarts!), or what it's like to be regularly told they look just like every other Asian girl on the planet.
I realized that these people would rather label others "snobs" than simply ask or listen when they don't know about something.
These people say it's impossible, pointless, or not worth their time to read literature and newspapers and keep up with current events (only boring snobs do
that!), yet they find time to do other things like watch TV and read fashion magazines, keep up with current gossip and go on for hours labeling people "losers" or "skanks" based on how they look or dress.
I've run into people with insecure and complacent attitudes like this my whole life--but maybe
now I'll finally realize that I shouldn't put too much stock in their opinions. My new attitude of the week is to let people with these kinds of
hangups think whatever the hell they want about me. If they think I'm a snob,
so be it.
I'd sure as hell rather be percieved as the P.C. kind of snob who tries to reject ethnic stereotypes and talks about "nerdy" things like the pros and cons of third party politics or the French colonization of Africa or the latest Nick Hornby book, rather than be the kind of snob who accepts my own prejudices with complacency and talks about petty things like other people's hairstyles and clothing choices.
And while I'm at it, if anyone out there thinks I'm a pagan heathen for reading horoscopes,
so be it.
Plllllt!
"
When choosing friends or investing yourself in any relationship, ask yourself: 'Does this person recognize beauty--in the world, and in others? Does this person bring out the better sides of me, encouraging me to be a better person through their example? Does having this person in my life make mine a better, more meaningful life?'"
--Me
