Friday, May 09, 2003
Why the hiatus?
My friend John noticed that this blog hasn’t been updated in a while. . well, John, here’s the explanation:
This will all change once I’m back in school, but part of the reason is I don’t have an internet connection at home, so I can only post entries at the library, at work, or at a friend’s house, and when I’m at these places, I’m not usually there to blog. Another part of the reason is my lack of material since I’m not currently in school or conducting any research, so the veterinary aspect of my life is pretty uneventful aside from the books or articles I read (by the way, the NIU library has a lousy selection of veterinary journals). But admittedly, a major part of the reason is I’ve been a little nervous about revealing too much information to a certain stalker. When I started this blog, I vowed not to bore readers with the mundane details of my personal life, or whining, etc., but this little snippet of my personal affairs is relevant to this weblog and to webloggers around the world.
e-stalkers
Here’s the condensed version: about five years ago I lived in apartment in the north side of Chicago, and the landlords’ son lived in and “managed” the four-flat building. He was about twice my age, and seemed like a nice guy until I realized he knew things about me that he could not have known unless he had been listening to the goings-on in my apartment. He watched me through his window whenever I left or entered the building (he worked out of his apartment so he was always around). My friends told me that he would come to the window whenever they rang
my doorbell and he’d tell them if I was home or not, and how long I’d been out. During my fourth conversation with him (I had only lived there about four or five months) he admitted that he was deeply in love with me and that even though he knew I had a boyfriend, he hoped that someday we could have a “relationship.” He told me all about the discussions he had with his friends about his love for me, et cetera.
So I started to avoid him, even more than I did before. And he started to put notes in my mailbox (which I
thought was a federal offense) and calling saying that if I’d only open up my heart and let him in, he could tame me, and we could be good friends, blah blah bah. So filed a report with the Chicago Tenant Union and with the real estate agency that located this particular apartment for me, and decided to move out as soon as my contract ended. When he heard I was leaving, he saw the change as advantageous to our “relationship.” Since we would no longer be manager-tenant, we now had the opportunity to be “more.” He said he had a very long letter he wanted to give me, and again stated that even though I had a boyfriend, he hoped someday we would be more than friends. I haven’t seen him since.
That was four years ago. I haven’t heard from him since, and then I recently noticed that he was posting comments to this blog and sending me e-mails in response to this site and one other site that had my picture and my name. This creep must be doing a google search for my name every week. Once I realized this, I removed my name from this and the other site.
What really bothers me about the situation is that I feel I should not have to alter my blog because of one annoying creepy man, especially if I want the freedom to use my own name. I want other people, who aren’t stalkers, to be able to find this site if they do a web search for my name. Why shouldn’t I? I plan on maintaining this site with integrity, and I do not plan on putting anything on this site that I wouldn’t want anyone to see. . .well, maybe now with the exception of my address.
A friend of mine, let’s call him "Gregg", a seasoned blogger, admonished me for putting my
real name and location on this site. He pointed out that now people can find out what I’m up to, what school I’m attending and hence where I’m living. Well, why shouldn’t I feel comfortable sharing this information? I don’t have any other e-mail stalkers or anything like that, I don’t post photos of myself anymore, I don ‘t feel I should have to anything to hide form anyone, and I would like to share my professional experiences with others through this wonderful medium.
. . and the other hazards of weblogging
But then it occurred to me that Gregg is a high school teacher who writes often about his professional experiences, but his writings aren’t meant to be shared with just anyone. He would probably have a aneurysm if any of his students got a hold of his blog, so he has changed his name for his site.
After dinner last night I discussed this with our friend John, who noticed the lapse on this site. We discussed the responsibility of the blogger. If a blogger is a “publisher,” is there a such thing as blog libel if you mention someone by name, in a not-so-flattering light? Gregg’s site,
The Flannel Diaries, contains writing that is insightful and enlightening for other high school teachers, but it also contains material (humorous, or slightly exaggerated, or “venting”) that he may not want associated with his professional name. But someone’s bound to put the details together and figure out who’s who on his site, just like stalker boy figured out that I was mentioned on it.
So I don’t know how to conclude this. I guess I understand why people like Gregg have to alter their names and situations on their blogs
(see for yourself), but I indignantly feel I shouldn’t have to do that, considering the unspicy nature of my writing topics and style. Should I let myself be so annoyed by this creepy ex-landlord guy?
